Things You Ought to Know
by TessaSpencer
Summary: Life in California isn't all it's cracked up to be for Niles and CC - aside from adapting to their new home, they have to also deal with whatever life throws at them.
1. The Accident

Title: Things You Ought to Know

Rating: A

Summary: Of all the things you ought to know, this is most important: nothing could ever stop me from loving you – in my life, you were the best thing that ever happened.

Disclaimer: This story almost never got posted – it was only recently when I realized this theme was recently used in a semi-popular (ok, possibly almost hit) movie. I had no clue about the movie or the theme, and only recently saw it – this story was long done by then, and Cheryl told me to post it regardless, so…

Dedication: I couldn't post this without thanking Cheryl, who sat up until 5:30 in the morning bouncing this (and other) story ideas. Ringing in the New Year together was a fabulous treat, during an otherwise blah winter. Also, I'd like to say a special thank you to Kathy for her input and encouragement. Without her, Niles would have had an 'icky' disease, and no use of his 'bits'. (I've since decided that Kathy is officially now titled 'Official Defender of Niles' bits'.)

Niles couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when his world started to spin off axis.

For the longest time, he had been telling people that he was exhausted from the move and trying to set up a new home, in a new state with a climate hotter than hell itself. He hated certain things about California – the heat being the worst of them.

Settling in was one thing, but he also was a newly wed, and CC and Niles wasted no time in exercising muscles neither knew they had. Romance was critical, and they spent their evenings pleasantly exhausted, cuddled in each other's arms.

As CC grew more and more pregnant, his exhaustion kicked up a notch. He was sleeping beside a woman who would have given world-class kick-boxers a run for their money, and he took the brunt of her midnight rounds.

Still, sleeping somewhere else wasn't a possibility – they loved this time too much, and even in her fitful sleep there had been a serenity about her that he knew was all his. Nobody else saw her like this – this she reserved especially for him.

When Claire was born, there was even more exhaustion. Aside from everything else he was trying to tackle, he was of taking care of a new baby, and a wife who was particularly moody.

17 hours of excruciating labor, four threats of divorce, and two threats of lawsuits for assault with a deadly weapon later - which Niles found much too entertaining, earning himself a slap from his angry, sweaty wife – they had a beautiful baby girl, perfect in every way.

They were also clinging to the last strands of their sanity, wishing they had done this sooner, when they were both younger and more resilient.

But this was life, and life was meant to be busy and chaotic, and sometimes overwhelming. The fact that he was tired, after almost two years of this breakneck pace, hadn't surprised him at all.

Still, Niles found himself slowing down – he felt the drag of sleepless nights, combined with ferocious lovemaking and exhausting days full of commitments.

His writing practically lurched to a stop, his creativity completely quashed by the urge to sleep, and when he wasn't taking care of the baby, or taking care of CC, he found himself collapsed on the familiar green leather sofa that used to rest in the Sheffield office.

He was getting older - there was no denying that. He was living the life of a thirty-year old, but his body was quickly pushing sixty, and he couldn't trick it.

Family life wasn't going to be easy, and he knew that, but some days he wished it could be just a little easier – a little less stressful and terrifying.

Being tired was becoming his standard, and being exhausted was no longer a surprise occurrence, but what was frustrating was that his exhaustion was encroaching on every aspect of their lives.

Niles was so tired he rarely had the energy to do much more than hand over the baby when CC got home, and then he'd go to his office under the guise of working. Stretching out on the sofa, he would grab a notepad and write a few lines before nodding off restlessly.

He felt old, and for Niles that was not acceptable. He had a young, vibrant wife who loved him, and a daughter who was barely 20 months old, and just starting to build her own distinctive personality.

Being old was not acceptable.

Instead of slowing down, Niles decided that what he needed to do was push himself. It was a matter of only being as old as he felt, and even though he felt 90, he was sure that it wouldn't last. He just needed to push himself into action, and hope that momentum would carry him until whatever dark cloud was drifting over him disappeared.

Things were too perfect in his life to be a spectator. He didn't want to watch it go by, so instead, Niles decided he would outrun his age.

After an initial guilt period where he allowed himself to rest, Niles pushed himself back to the grind, fitting in as many things as he could into every day. If he didn't stop, he wouldn't be tired.

He hoped.

The only problem was that he never felt any better, or any younger. If anything he felt increasingly exhausted, and less able to face the next task.

Niles hadn't realized how much of a problem it was until he was driving home from the daycare, having decided to drop Claire for the extra day so he could catch up on chores, and try to prepare for their evening.

There was still about a half dozen errands to run, not the least of which was picking up groceries on his way back from picking up documents CC needed from their lawyer.

Glancing down at his lap, Niles looked at the note he had jotted, trying to remember all the chores he had left to do.

Looking at the list, he had a hard time focusing on the words. He could see them, but something wasn't right.

Straining to see more clearly, he looked again, and realized that he had forgotten to pick up the dry cleaning that CC had been asking about for days. He'd forgotten again.

Sighing, he decided it would be best left until the end of the day when he could pick it up on his way home from picking up Claire – it would mean toting her around with him while he went in, but it wasn't a huge inconvenience.

Niles barely heard the horn honking before he saw a car headed toward him from the passenger side. In the split second, he realized he had run a red light, and was now squarely in the intersection, his car on path for a collision.

He needed to do something – but as quickly as it was all happening, time seemed to be at a halt. Feeling the car being hit from behind, Niles braced himself for what was going to come next – the spinning had to stop eventually.

The car rocked back and forth, as it spun and he heard horns honking around him. It felt as if it would never stop, but a moment later, it hit something hard and the airbags deployed, pushing him back into his seat and winding him.

Trying to catch his breath, he opened his eyes, his heart racing at the mere thought of what just happened. He didn't want to see what he hit – God forbid it was another car.

He hadn't been paying attention – he had been too consumed by his note. But it was something he had done thousands of times before, and never had he had so much as a fender bender.

Reaching for his seatbelt, Niles unclasped it, and finally looked to the passenger side of the vehicle. All of the airbags had deployed, creating a curtain effect, but he could distinctly see a lamppost, creating a vicious indentation in the side of his new Jeep.

A sudden frantic tapping on the window jarred him from what he was looking at, trying to process.

"Are you OK?" a young guy called through the glass, his face flushed. The running gear that the winded man sported was one of Niles least favorite parts of living in California, looking like a kaleidoscope of colors, his eyes were unable to focus.

Niles nodded, unable to speak. What the hell just happened?

Pushing on the handle, he opened the door, face to face with the jogger. "I'm fine," he said finally, as much for himself as for the stranger.

He pulled himself to his feet, supporting his weight on the door frame. "I don't know what happened," he admitted, and for a moment he could see the look of concern in the jogger's expression. He was looking at a confused, old man. "I didn't see the red light."

"You're lucky," he said, taking in the damage. "Somebody's already called 911 – they're sending an ambulance. You should probably sit until they get here."

Looking at his car, Niles was starting to see the full extent of the damage. His almost brand new Jeep was crunched in several spots and was firmly planted against the post.

A second car was parked just behind him, but the passenger was clearly the phone, speaking frantically and gesturing maniacally. That must have been the car that hit him.

But something was wrong…

He had been headed to the house, before he went to the Lawyer's office, which was south of here. How'd his car end up turned north? Looking out to the road, he realized that the spinning wasn't just a dramatic imagination, but the result of his car actually spiraling across traffic.

"Shit."

"You sure you're ok? Do you need a drink or something? You look awful pale. Or should you call someone to come meet you?" Looking between Niles and the car, the fact that he was conscious was a good sign – though miraculous by itself.

"CC. She's going to kill me." She had lectured him a thousand times about his supposed ability to multitask, and here was a perfect demonstration of exactly what she was talking about. He hated when she was right.

As he took his cell phone from his pocket, he thought about the events, trying to remember the precise point where it went wrong, where things spun out of control, quite literally. The problem was, the entire series of events was quickly becoming a blur – his focus instead shifted to dialing the number that he had dialed at least a thousand times before.

"You know, I spoke to you forty minutes ago – what could have possibly changed?" CC groaned, clearly frustrated by the interruption.

"Sorry," he managed, his voice quivering. In that moment, he realized just how bad the accident could have been. "I uh, need you to pick up Claire today," he said simply, trying to keep his thoughts in line. There was so much going on around him that he could barely concentrate.

"Niles! You know I have meetings until 6 – we talked about it this morning. We talked about this again forty minutes ago when you called to ask me what I wanted for dinner." Her irritation was evident, and he couldn't blame her. In fact, as soon as she heard the whole story, who knew how she'd respond?

"I'm sorry, baby. I know you're busy – and I'm sorry to add to that." Glancing back at the car, he swallowed and reminded himself to take a breath. "I had a little car accident; there's no way I can drive it anywhere – and I know how the daycare hates it when we're late."

There was silence on the other end of the line, and for a moment he wondered how she'd respond. The potential for her to blow up seemed lessened by the gravity of his news, but for reason escaping understanding, he was terrified at the prospect none-the-less.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her tone distinctively softer, concern evident.

"I'm fine," he replied easily. "Just shaken. But the car… wasn't so lucky." Police cars arrived and blocked off the intersection, where one car was still stopped. He heard sirens everywhere, drowning out the crowd that was growing. Looking around, he wondered if anyone was hurt. Maybe they weren't as lucky as he had hoped.

"Niles? Niles, answer me… what happened?" He could hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm sorry?"

"I asked you what happened… Didn't you hear me?"

Wincing at the thought of the accident, the damage to the car, and that he had to interrupt her day, Niles wondered how it all happened. "I'm sorry – the police are here. I really am sorry. I just have to clear this up, and figure out what's happening to the car. And… I'm sure there are things I should take care of. I need to go."

"Oh. Should I come pick you up?"

The mere thought made his heart race; the last thing she needed was to see his crumpled car. "No, no… it's fine. I'm really sorry, CC."

"Okay, um, I'll cancel an appointment and sneak out to pick her up. You're really okay? You don't sound very good."

"I'm fine," he promised her. "Love you." Snapping his phone closed, Niles looked around the chaos, and waited for the police officer to make it to his car. Surely at the very least, he'd have to make a statement, and make arrangements with his insurance.


	2. The Aftermath

Sorry for the delay; I've been experiencing some technical difficulties. That being said, here's a slightly longer chapter two... Also, I apologise as this is edited, but only by my rather tired eyes (my word processing program has gone nuts!) Thanks everyone for the reviews, and happy reading. :)

2*

When Niles finally made it through the door several hours later, he realized that in all of the chaos, he accomplished practically nothing on his list for the day – he'd have to make arrangements to do everything in the next couple of days. For not the first time, he was behind before he even started.

Hanging his coat in the closet, he slowly made his way into the living room, realizing he had left groceries in the wreck that was his car. "I'll order a pizza," he grumbled, tossing his keys on the side table in the hallway.

"Niles?"

Looking up, he saw his wife, their toddler in her arms. "Hey, Baby… Sorry about today," he said slowly, and quietly. He felt terrible, making her cancel the appointments.

"Sorry? Don't be ridiculous. Are you okay?" CC looked at him carefully, checking for any sign of injury, worrying when she noticed a bump on his head and several scratches on his hands and arms. "I was worried – you didn't tell me what happened."

Niles collapsed onto the sofa with an exhausted sigh. "I didn't realize the light changed, and I ran it… There was traffic coming the other way, and he clipped the back of the car, trying to not hit me. The Jeep around, and next thing I knew, I was parallel parked against a lamp post."

CC gasped at his description. "Oh my God - have you seen a doctor?" Sitting beside him on the couch, she leaned against him, letting Claire shift over onto his lap.

He welcomed his daughter into his arms, cuddling her. "I'm fine – the paramedics had a quick look at me. I was lucky," he said seriously, kissing Claire's forehead. "But I didn't get anything done today that I should have."

"You can do whatever it is tomorrow – all that matters is that you weren't hurt," CC said seriously. "I'm just thankful Claire wasn't in the car with you."

Niles nodded in silent agreement, that same thought having crossed his mind more than couldn't have been as lucky in that situation. The car seat could very well have been on that side of the car, and then… "I don't want to think about it."

CC leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, horrified by the thoughts of what could have been. They had only just found each other - well, sort of - and now that they were finally building a life together, the mere idea of having to live without him scared the hell out of her. She didn't want to think like that. There had been so much going on around them that she realized their lives were taking on an entirely different beat. "I don't want to think about it either."

After a moment of silence, Niles cleared his throat and tried to form a thought. He must still have been pretty shaken up because his mouth was dry and words seemed to elude him. Finally, he was able to say what he felt she needed to know. "The car is probably a write-off. The insurance is going to assess it this week, and in the meantime, I'm driving a rental."

"Well, we'll see what the insurance says, but I think we should look into getting this sorted right away; life won't feel normal again until we've got our own things, and the uncertainty is cleared up," CC said seriously. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again, looking at him. He looked pale, and his normally bright blue eyes were nearly grey. She couldn't remember a time when Niles looked so exhausted, or for that matter, when he ever struggled for something to say.

"I am. I'm just – it's been a hectic day. I spent hours waiting for the police to clear things up, and then waiting for the insurance to sort out the rental car. I'm exhausted. I forgot the groceries in the car – do you mind if we order pizza tonight?" he dipped Claire, as she leaned back, holding on to her by her waist. She loved being upside down, and Niles was doing his best to appease her, but in his arms she felt like lead.

"I'll order it. You two stay here," she said, leaning over to kiss him. "I'm glad you're okay – I was so scared when I thought you might have been hurt."

Niles accepted her kiss and deepened it, thankful that he could do that – the reality of the day had sunk in, and there was so very little to think, except that maybe he wouldn't always be lucky.

Claire's fingers poked at his hands, and as he looked down, he realized that she was still suspended, upside down, her head dangling above the floor. He hadn't pulled her back up again. "Oh, sweetie," he said, bringing her up to his eye level. "I think that's enough for today," he said seriously, looking at her rosy cheeks, and glittering blue eyes. Along with CC, Claire was the best thing that ever happened to him. "Daddy's kind of tired."

Claire leaned back again, hoping he'd continue to dip her, but when he didn't, she pouted, and her lower lip began to quiver. "I said no," he said more sternly, but at the exact moment she leaned further back in his arms, and he felt, for a moment, like he couldn't hold on to her – that he wouldn't be able to catch her.

Panic set in as he realized that she might fall, and he managed to catch her with his arms, though only at what felt like the last moment. His heart was racing and he felt irrationally scared by the thought of her falling.

Holding his daughter against his chest, Niles felt his heart pounding. "No more," he said very seriously, and as Claire began to cry, he cradled her against his chest, hugging her. "Daddy's tired – we can't play right now. I don't want you to get hurt," he told her, though it wasn't getting through to her.

"Pizza's ordered," CC said, returning to the room a moment later, only to see her husband looking very grave, and their sobbing daughter. "What happened?"

Niles shook his head. "We were playing - she was leaning back, and I'd catch her before she fell, but... for a moment, I thought I wouldn't catch her. She wants to keep playing but I don't think it's a good idea."

"You're probably more shaken up than you thought," she said quietly, stroking their daughter's golden curls. "Here, you give her to me, and I'll calm her down – you go and relax for a few minutes. You've had enough excitement today, don't you think?"

Forcing a smile at his wife, he released his hold on Claire. "I didn't realize how totally…numb… I feel," he said lamely, wondering if this was all a side effect of old age and everything else he'd been battling.

"You were in an accident – of course you're having an off day. Go. Rest – I'll call you when the pizza gets here." Taking Claire into her arms, CC rocked the child back and forth. She was tired, and cranky, and probably picking up some of the tension from her father's current state of upset.

"Thanks," he said, hoisting himself off the couch. He was exhausted, and Niles realized that this wasn't the first time he felt like this; this was just the first time he had some degree of a reason.

Making his way to the bedroom, Niles looked forward to collapsing on the bed and forgetting about the whole dreadful day. It was the least he could hope for at this point. Anything but another day like this.

Niles flipped the page in his book, even though he had barely absorbed any of what he had read. The words were blurring, and he realized that he was well past the point of exhausted. It had already been two weeks since his car accident, and he had yet to shake the feeling of fatigue.

"That look of concentration on your face says either that's one hell of a book, or it's terrible," CC said, sliding back the sheets and curling her body against his. Resting her head on his shoulder, she watched as he flipped another page. "So it's good then?"

Niles looked at her, confused by what she meant. "I'm sorry?"

"The book… it's good?" she asked again, glancing up at the text. Whatever it was, it hardly seemed like a page-turner at first glance; that thought alone gave her hope.

"Yeah, it's fine," Niles said, trying to focus his eyes.

CC smiled mischievously, running her fingers over his stomach. "Well 'fine' sounds like I could certainly compete…" When his eyes didn't waver from his book, she decided to be more aggressive, shifting her weight to her elbow, and leaning in for a kiss. Her hand delved beneath the sheets, and traced over him, trying to entice him to her way of thinking.

"CC," he said, as his lips met with hers. "I'm trying to read."

CC stopped her mission, momentarily, and grinned at him. "You don't get to play hard to get, Bellboy – you've not made love to me in three… count 'em, one, two, three… days. I want my husband."

Niles looked at her, noticing the gleam in her eyes, and realized that she was completely right. Closing his book, he removed his glasses and pinched his bridge. "I'm sorry, CC. I am…"

"You've got a pretty good chance to make it up to me," she said smugly, rolling on to her back and stretching her hands above her head. "I'm here, I'm horny, and you owe me."

Niles laughed at the look on her face, and had to admit that she was a beautiful woman. Of course she was – she always had been stunning – and she always made his heart beat faster. The problem was, even with his heart pounding, some parts of his body were a little slow to respond.

"I owe you? Where in our vows did it say daily sexual favors?" he teased as he angled himself toward her, his fingers gently turning her face toward him.

"Baby, it was in the fine print – right next to the part where we said we'd love, honor and cherish. And three days is three days too long without any _cherishing_." Nipping at his fingers, she seductively dragged her lips over them.

Leaning toward her, Niles seized her lips with his, and kissed her heatedly, his palm dropping to her breast to tease her through the material of her nightgown.

Three days had clearly been too long, because CC leaned up against him, begging him for more, and she released a whimper against his mouth.

In fact, if he thought about it, Niles would probably realize that three days was two days longer than they had ever made it without making love before, aside from the weeks right after Claire's birth. Even then, though they couldn't make love, Niles had loved her body every day – just avoiding the forbidden bits. It had been more about showing her affection and tenderness than lovemaking.

Releasing her lips, Niles leaned his forehead against hers, and wished he could will the other parts of his body to comply.

Despite a fiery hot kiss, Niles Jr was still napping, without even a twinge of life.

Refusing to give up, Niles worked his way down the bed, instead trying a different tactic. "Whatever I owe you, I wonder if it's not a good idea to keep track of these things. You're a shrewd business woman – I'd hate to realize you were taking advantage of me."

She laughed as his lips began to trail up her legs, pushing her nightgown up as he went. "You always liked it when I took advantage of you – when did that change?"

Working his way toward his goal, Niles shrugged, his lips teasing at the tops of her thighs. "Maybe I liked it more when it was spontaneous?" he said nonchalantly. The words past his lips without any degree of conscious thought, and only once he realized what he said, did he stop to think about it. The only problem was, inches from his target, CC's hands tangled in his hair, and roughly yanked his head up.

"You liked it 'more'?" CC asked, narrowing her eyes at him, waiting with baited breath for his reply.

Maybe she was being bitchy, but after three days of abstinence, the implication that she had contributed to it in any way more than offended her. He had been the one working late, and then he had taken a meeting at a ridiculous hour, all for a job he didn't even want. Then he had the nerve to say that he liked it better?

Niles groaned. "CC, I was about to go down on you – could you not argue semantics with me right now? I didn't mean…"

"What did you mean?" she asked, angry with him for even thinking such a thing, serious or not.

The sexual tension quickly shifted to anger, and Niles realized that this was his problem – if he could just get an erection, he could have given her what she wanted, and avoided the inevitable foot-in-mouth that he had been struggling with for weeks.

"I meant..." Looking up at her, he realized that if he couldn't get hard when she was teasing him, and he couldn't get hard teasing her, there was no way he was going to be able to do it with her glowering at him. "I meant that I don't feel like having sex tonight – I'm sorry, CC, but I just don't feel like it, and I resent that I have to be ready at your command."

"You used to be ready when I walked in the room – I guess things change," CC said tugging down her nightgown.

Moving back to his side of the bed, Niles looked at her, and the look of both horror and sadness on her face, and realized that not only had he handled that badly, but he had hurt her at the same time.

Still, he couldn't take the chance she'd insist on make-up sex. He had to find a half-way point, where he could talk to her without necessarily getting them back to the point of making love.

"I'm sorry you think that I'm asking that much – you usually don't have an issue with it," CC said, her voice quivering.

He knew that tone – that was the tone just before she exploded in anger. "I'm tired CC – I'm tired, and I don't feel like having sex."

CC flinched at the word 'sex'. He had been the one, when they first started their relationship, to clarify a few things, not the least of which was that sex was reserved for other people. For them, it was always making love.

But tonight it wasn't. In fact, tonight wasn't even about sex, though that's what he said.

When CC reached down for him, when this whole fiasco began, she ran her finger along his length, and extended a very clear invitation to him.

Niles hadn't even so much as offered her a flinch – nothing. When he shifted over her, and had begun his journey up her legs, CC thought she'd been imagining things, maybe she had been too quick to judge.

Looking at the way he rolled over and turned his back to her, now she knew it wasn't just her imagination run amok.

"I'm going to take a shower," CC said, looking at his back. Suddenly, the last thing she wanted was to be beside him when he couldn't even acknowledge her.

Sliding out of the bed she looked back at him, under the blankets, and realized that maybe he wasn't the problem. She had yet to lose all the baby weight – that last ten pounds had been a real struggle – though he'd already said it didn't matter, maybe it did?

When she had touched him, there had been no reaction – he always reacted to her, even when he was determined not to. It was a game they'd always played, and she loved to torture him at inopportune times. If tonight's reaction was anything to go by, maybe things were different now. Maybe he was getting tired of her?

They'd been together for just under three years now – the longest relationship either of them had ever had – and although CC could honestly say that she was just as in love with him as she had been when they first made love, maybe he didn't feel the same way.

Maybe the thrill of the chase had been more stimulating than the actual relationship could live up to?

He was different lately, and for a while she could make excuses for him. Actually, right up until tonight, she had made excuses for him.

His temper was a little shorter, and he looked more tired but their love life was still good. Not phenomenal, but it was good.

So what if he hadn't been lasting as long, or if it took a little more work to get him 'primed', she had always been able to do it. There was no delusion about his age; in fact, CC felt quite blessed that for a man of his age, he had been more than just a satisfying lover.

Still, the turn from phenomenal, daily love-making, and the now sporadic, average sex that they'd been having for the last few weeks, was enough to assure CC there was indeed something wrong.

Turning on the water in the shower, CC pulled her nightgown over her head, and stepped in, getting a glance at herself in the mirror as she closed the shower door.

She definitely had a few extra pounds still, and she'd have to work on that. Even if Niles was too chicken to admit it, CC and her body wasn't turning him on anymore. There was no way of hiding that glaring truth.

As the water beat down on her body, CC leaned against the wall of the shower and cried. Maybe she was being irrational, but it felt like her world was crumbling, and her marriage was deteriorating right before her eyes. After all, she practically gambled everything to be with him.


	3. The Morning After

Here we go, the next installment. My word program is still a disaster, and as such any typos (which are mine) were not caught by it... I do hope that this gets resolved soon.

Additionally, a bit of a warning; this chapter may cause a little 'squee' amongst those who are faint of heart. If the topic of masturbation makes you uncomfortable, I recommend you skip this chapter; the next chapter will be back to good ol' fashion angst. ;)

3*

CC wasn't in bed when Niles woke up the next morning. Rolling over to see her side of the bed empty, Niles groaned, and sat up, his head throbbing. With a quick glance at the clock, Niles realized that it was well past 10 in the morning. He'd overslept, again.

Normally, Niles would wake up when Claire cried. She'd be his 'wake up call', and every day without fail, she'd have him up by 7.

Stumbling out of bed, and down the hall, he peaked into the nursery, before realizing that Claire wasn't there; it only took a moment to realize that CC must have taken her with her that morning, which was a surprise. Usually they would coordinate ten different scenarios for CC if she had to take Claire; taking her without reason was unheard of.

It probably had everything to do with their conversation last night, which in only basic terms could be considered a conversation, even by their standards. Really, more than anything it was a fight.

Making his way into the bathroom, Niles thought about what had happened, and wondered when he let things go so far off path. He was just so tired, and although he wanted nothing more than to ravish his wife, there was a very distinct problem: his body wasn't quite on the same page.

When CC reminded him how their sex lives had been, it was a slap in the face.

She didn't realize it, but was already worried by the lack of response from her touch. By commenting on it, he felt accused – he wasn't living up to the standard they'd set, and he was just as disappointed as she was.

Looking in the mirror, Niles ran his fingers through his hair, and looked more closely at his features. Even though he'd overslept, he still looked as if he hadn't slept in days. He felt miserable, and even though most of that was because of his fight with CC, he knew something else had to be wrong.

He looked at how messy the bathroom was and realized that CC probably had been in a terrible mood that morning when she was getting ready. Her bottles, containers and jars were all over the counter, as if she'd let Claire play with them while she put on her make up, and CC had left her nightgown on the laundry basket, hanging over the edge precariously.

As neurotic as it was, he knew that CC had a very set system each morning – he'd observed it time and time again – and this did not fit the bill. She was meticulous with her things, and chaos drove her nuts. The state of the bathroom counter was a clear sign to Niles, whether she knew it or not. CC was still pissed off.

He couldn't blame her. He was still pissed off.

Niles had never had that sort of problem - or at least… not for no reason. Drunk maybe, sick even, but never before had he let himself down like that. Or CC. He could still see the pain in her eyes when she stopped him.

"_Maybe I liked it more when it was spontaneous?"_

How could he have said that? It was simple. He wasn't thinking. It just slipped out.

Sitting down on the toilet seat, Niles leaned back and closed his eyes, thinking about what a disaster this had all been. All of it.

Here he was, married to a young and beautiful woman, and he couldn't even keep her satisfied.

But maybe it was a one-time deal? Maybe this morning he'd be back in top form, and last night would have just been a terrible misunderstanding. Surely a prize thoroughbred couldn't be expected to rise to the occasion every time out of the gate, as long as he still won most of his races?

With his eyes still closed, Niles hoped his theory was right, and he wasn't just tempting fate… Maybe he just needed a little help getting back on track, and last night was … nothing more than performance anxiety run mad.

Reaching into his pajama bottoms and taking hold of himself, Niles thought about how the bathroom smelled like CC – the combination of her perfume and her body wash. For years before he had managed to finally tie her down, both literally and figuratively, he had often used that scent as motivation for his evening entertainment.

It was never the same as the real thing, and now that he had it, Niles could never imagine going back to the cheap imitation of his imagination, but it had always worked. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Thinking about her eyes, and her laugh, and her smile. Those thoughts had gotten him through many lonely nights, and very often had fueled some extremely hot fires.

He stroked his fingers over his skin, and tugged gently, thinking of CC, and the way she had laid herself out for him the night before, golden hair and shining blue eyes, practically begging him to ravish her.

The swell of her breasts and the curve of her hip were ingrained in his memory. Slowing his strokes, Niles inhaled the perfumed air around him, imagining her fingers on him, torturing him mercilessly as she so often did.

He thought about the way her stomach would rise and fall with every breath, faster and faster as he pleasured her and took her closer to the edge, and how that same stomach had been the home to their greatest creation together – and how miraculously she had managed to return her body to her previously svelte form. There was never a woman hotter than CC Babcock.

Imagining her lips on him, Niles tightened his hand and created more friction, willing himself to respond.

He remembered how CC looked laid out on the deck of the cottage they rented in Nice, for their honeymoon, and how the modest bathing suit she wore tortured him almost as much as she did when she drew her lips over his thigh tantalizingly slow in the afternoon sun.

When nothing else was enticing him, Niles decided that the tried and true would have to work; there were some memories that were made for the 'true life stories' sections of adult magazines, and though he didn't need any outside stimulation in his day-to-day life, maybe what he did need was a little memory therapy.

Reaching into the vaults, it was like digging out a special edition playboy, complete with an extra-special centerfold.

Slowing his motions to a near halt, Niles shifted his position, and began to think back to their days in New York, when things between them were still merely a torrid affair, and they were more than a little torrid themselves.

The first week they were together, CC had invited him out to a late dinner at a discreet little restaurant off the beaten path. Food was the furthest thing from their minds as her hand reached below the table to rest on the inside of his thigh; they hadn't even ordered drinks yet.

By dessert, her hand was in his pants, stroking his length in feather-light, torturous motions and CC, playing coy far too well for a woman who was giving him a hand job in a restaurant, sipped at her wine as if nothing was happening. How he had managed not to explode in her hand, he still didn't know, but the glimmer in her eye as she teased him mercilessly had been the hottest thing he had ever seen.

Niles thought about that night, as they fumbled their way into a taxi, their hands all over each other, barely able to give the address to the driver, and the way she tasted… Niles couldn't think of anything he loved more than kissing CC: feeling her body against his, and truly, properly kissing her. He thought about the weight of her breasts in his hands, as they leaned against the wall of her elevator, and the way her hips had jutted toward his, as if offering an invitation.

Niles groaned, realizing this wasn't going anywhere – there was a time when the mere thought of an elevator would have him hard and waiting, and now, even with his best efforts, Niles was seeing no hope.

Nothing.

Not even a flicker of life. Not even a spark. Oh, what he would give for a spark!

Releasing his grasp on himself, Niles leaned back against the back of the toilet, the cold ceramic jutting into his back. Resting his hand on his pants, he realized that this was really a problem, and not just over reacting.

There was no over reacting when it came to his inability to make love to his wife.

Thinking about the series of events, Niles decided that there was time for some outside help, of any kind. What ever the case may be, he needed to go see a doctor and figure out what was making his sex life (and his wife) miserable.

If memories of CC torturing him couldn't even get a reaction out of him, something had to be wrong.

Undressing himself, Niles turned on the water in the shower before he stepped in, barely thinking of anything but what was happening to them. He'd spent so much time trying to convince himself that all was well, but he couldn't even do the most basic things a man was supposed to do for his wife.

Feeling the water beat against his chest, Niles closed his eyes and wondered what all of this could mean for them in the long run. Making love wasn't the only thing in their relationship, though it was a favored method of conversation, and now they didn't even have that.

His heart sank at the notion that things might be falling apart and he silently resolved that he had to do something to fix it. Soon.


End file.
